Recently, on a trip to North Carolina I was able to stay in a swanky Holiday Inn Express. Now, before you say, “for real?”, let me say “yes, for real!” The amenities, for an “express” hotel were quite nice, and in fact in the process of being upgraded (see below, but don’t tell the hotel). The staff was stellar and worthy of some sort of Holiday Inn honor.

While the purpose for my trip, and subsequent trip there again just two weeks later wasn’t one of pleasure or joy, I was excited to be able to eat some hotel oatmeal and considered that a consolation prize for having to travel under such sad circumstances. At random points of the 9-10 hour journey I would whisper internally or say aloud, “all I want is some oatmeal”.

Much to my surprise the hotel oatmeal wasn’t the hot, fresh, gooey, delicious blend…